Published on 17 April 2023 at 00:45

I knew this day will come, but I didn't know how bad it will affect me. We only moved in Dec 2022 but in Feb 2023, I received news about my dad in Singapore who was rushed to the hospital via ambulance service. The doctor told him that he needed a major surgery urgently and my dad has to give them the consent. He refused initially...took us siblings and my mom via several video calls to coax him to do the surgery. It was a high risk operation, that got all of us so riled up. It was a chaotic period because I also had to engage a lawyer for my dad before he goes for that major surgery. As usual there will be red tapes, so I had to ask for favour from the lawyer and the nurses. Thankfully all went well. Surgery went well too with no complication but things are definitely not the same for my parents. Mobility will be a great concern. I told dad that I will come back to Singapore earliest in July for Hari Raya Haji. The holidays for Hari Raya in April was too short and I would not want my husband to rush back to Melbourne for work. 

However, we could only plan, only Allah knows what's best for us. I tried to book the flight tickets in March, shockingly the tickets was super expensive. It was between $7000 to $9000 on all airlines for a family of 4. I cried non-stop. With my dad's health condition, it is unlikely that he and my mom can come and visit me here. Of course, my mind goes berserk as I strongly felt that moving here was such a bad idea. I just felt really helpless. To me, it is not practical to spend a huge sum of money for a short stay. We don't even have that much. I was sore that I just could not go home. 

After a few days of not videocall my parents, I finally spoke to them and apologised. My dad gave me encouragement, gave me great advice and I finally managed to see this migration in a new perspective. In life we do have to make some sacrifices. And I have to start to be a supportive wife. 

I spoke to my friend who lives in Qatar now and she told me that she still get homesick yearly, especially Ramadhan time. So, she will usually book flight tickets way in advance every year and that will always be something that she looks forward to. I did the same. Booked our flight in end Dec til late Jan 2024, with reasonable airfare. InSyaaAllah I'll be home and get to hug my dad. To see him smile despite what he has gone through is a reminder for me that my trials are just a small setback. 

What to do if homesick?

They said surround yourself with family or keep yourself occupied. I did. It didn't change the fact that I could not go home. So the answer is really to go and book a flight back home. Having a flight date confirmed sets the mind at ease. 

Next, call your loved ones who are abroad regularly. For me, I videocall daily. Those days which I did not call because I did not want to show my emotions to my parents or did not want them to get worry is just me trying to avoid the truth aka the pain. Put the ego aside. Overcome the pain. I always tell myself that death will happen anytime. So, let's not regret over something we didn't get to do. It felt so much better after pouring out to my parents. 

Lastly, find your comfort food that reminds of home. Don't over indulge. 
FYI, I couldn't find my laksa johor til now.
That's my favourite. Maybe have to make my own now. 

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